No Sleep Till Sydney
The warm-ups are over. Now is when the shit gets real.
England’s preparation – two wins, one draw – has proceeded with military precision. The team have runs and wickets under their belt and are united, relaxed and exuding an air of quiet determination.
Australia are too busy eating their own to put the boot in. Desultory efforts to rile the Poms have most recently included Shane Warne lamely trying to sow dissent among England’s ranks by suggesting that in the hierarchy of the team Kevin Pietersen is treated as “an outcast” – a suggestion Andy Flower batted away with all the insouciance of Douglas Jardine swatting flies in the outfield.
England don’t really care about what the Australian press has to say, something they demonstrated by not turning up to a pre-Test lunch attended by their Australian counterparts and raising the ire of local worthies and Ian Healy, who initiated a chorus of “three boos for England”, despite the fact England never promised to turn up in the first place, clashing as it did with a practice session.
Tell you something, though. Australia win at the Gabba, and all will be forgiven on the part of the Aussie press. It won’t be long till the 5-0 predictions are dusted off and given a raucous airing.
If England win at this Australian fortress – and it would be the first time since 1986 – the ghost of the drubbing they received last time they played Down Under will be exorcised.
But while England hold the whip hand going into this Test, it is important not to assume victory here – or in this series – will be a formality.
Michael Clarke has been passed fit to play, struggling with an old back injury aggravated in the recent NSW match, but is still, however, Australia’s second best batsman.
In the spin bowling department, Xavier Doherty has been preferred to Nathan Hauritz, but that oft-quoted, oft-mocked first-class career average of 48 is a tad misleading. Doherty has improved steadily over the last two years, and this year averages 27.45, with 11 wickets from 3 matches.
His economy rate of 2.39 makes him the 4th most economical bowler – and the most economical spinner – in Shield cricket this season.
Mitchell Johnson could either win this or lose it for his country, but Doherty’s economy at the other end will take the pressure off if he starts spraying it around like an over-excited incontinent elderly relative.
Mainly, though, the selectors will have observed Kevin Pietersen’s continuing weakness against left arm spin.
Pietersen’s form continues to be a worry, though he himself is in bullish mood. It helps that the team does not solely depend upon him, with Ian Bell being the most recent standout performer with the bat in the preceding warm-ups.
Darren Gough has said that he thinks a big score for Kevin Pietersen is just around the corner.
Me, I’m as nervous as Steve Harmison with the new ball and Flintoff ready at second slip.
But it will also be a relief when that first over is out of the way and we can settle the hell down and enjoy some bloody good Test cricket.
Because come 10AM local time – 00:00 GMT – the bullshit stops.
Australia 1 Simon Katich, 2 Shane Watson, 3 Ricky Ponting (c), 4 Michael Clarke, 5 Michael Hussey, 6 Marcus North, 7 Brad Haddin (wk), 8 Mitchell Johnson, 9 Xavier Doherty, 10 Peter Siddle, 11 Ben Hilfenhaus.
England (probable) 1 Andrew Strauss (c), 2 Alastair Cook, 3 Jonathan Trott, 4 Kevin Pietersen, 5 Paul Collingwood, 6 Ian Bell, 7 Matt Prior (wk), 8 Stuart Broad, 9 Graeme Swann, 10 James Anderson, 11 Steven Finn.